


Same Drugs

by overcastskeleton



Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Oral Sex, Recreational Drug Use, Smut, the works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:15:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23219128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overcastskeleton/pseuds/overcastskeleton
Summary: You and Javi reunite when he comes home to Laredo for the first time in years.
Relationships: Javier Peña/Reader, Javier Peña/You
Comments: 10
Kudos: 51





	Same Drugs

**Author's Note:**

> Super excited to finally finish this fic. It's been a long time in the making, but I hope you guys like it. 
> 
> This takes place between season 2 and 3 of Narcos

There was some bullshit saying about unexpected reunions, and how awesome and exciting they could be. Well, you didn’t know anything about that. Whatever entity that was in charge of reunions must’ve had it out for you, because every single unexpected meeting you had seemed to get you into more trouble. Especially your random encounters with a certain DEA agent. 

Javier Peña, the agent in question, walked back into your life one boring Thursday night. 

It started off like any normal night. You worked your usual eight hour shift at the small diner near your house; the same shift you’d worked, serving the same people the same food for the past five years. It was a quaint little hole-in-the-wall, an old-fashioned 50s diner that didn’t quite fit in the small town of Laredo. Maybe that’s why you liked it so much. You also felt a little out of place in the little town. 

You were counting the cash in the register, preparing to close up shop, when your coworker’s shadow fell over you. You paused your counting, and looked up at him with raised eyebrows. 

Milo, a Gulf War veteran, and the diner’s cook, was a pretty massive dude, and a man of very few words. He was old enough to be your father, and was certainly protective like one, especially during the closing shifts you worked together. You didn’t mind though, honestly you found it quite endearing. Right now, he was looking very concerned, arms crossed over his massive chest and jaw clenched tightly. 

“Everything okay?” You asked, writing down the amount on a slip of paper. 

“There’s some guy outside leaning against your truck.” He muttered under his breath, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder. “You know him?” 

You leaned around him to look out the window. The iced glass made it a little hazy, but there was no mistaking the person leaning against your old truck, or the butterflies that filled your stomach when you laid eyes on him. 

Javier Peña. Laredo’s own living legend. 

“Yeah, I know him.” You sighed and took the cash box into the back for your boss to deal with in the morning. 

Milo waited for you in the front. “Is he a friend...” He looked from Javi to you suspiciously. “Or is he trouble?” 

“He’s an old friend.” You answered, grabbing your purse and jacket from under the counter. 

Javi was a little more than that, and there was a lot of history between you two, but you weren’t gonna go into detail about it for Milo. You still had to work with him, after all. 

Milo stood by the doors, eyes narrowed. “Are you sure? I don’t like the look of him.” 

You chuckled, and patted his shoulder. “Thanks, Milo, but I’ll be alright.” 

You put your jacket on and turned the lights out in the diner. Milo shouldered the door open and held it for you while you fished the key out of the pocket of your apron. You locked the diner and walked towards the parking lot, Milo followed you reluctantly, hands shoved deep into his pockets. 

“Look, I’ll be in my truck, just in case, alright?” He muttered. “If you need me just yell.” 

You shook your head. “Everything’s cool, Milo. Go home.” 

Milo sighed, and ran a hand through his military cut. “You have a good night then, see you tomorrow.” He glared in Javi’s direction one last time, and walked towards his old junker on the opposite side of the parking lot. 

You watched him go, steeling yourself to face Javi. You didn’t know why he made you so nervous, if anything, you should have felt furious. After all, he was the one who hadn’t talked to you in four years and then randomly showed up without even giving you a heads up. 

You knew he was back in town, heard it from someone at the market, who heard it from someone at church, who heard it from _someone_ else at the salon. You knew it was only a matter of time before he darkened your doorstep once again, looking for a thrill or some fucked up version of solace. But that was how it worked with Javi; he just popped in, fucked you, and popped out whenever he felt like it. 

Still, all this knowing didn’t prepare you for the sight of Javi leaning against your truck. His eyes trailed up your body slowly as you approached. He was wearing that smile that had made you climb into bed with him in the first place. 

You’d never learned how to say no to that damn smile, and it had been getting you into trouble ever since. 

You looked over him in silence. He looked infuriatingly good, dressed in a black shirt, leather jacket and jeans that made his ass look amazing. His hair had grown out messily, and a few strands fell into his face, giving him a handsome boyish look. 

“Hey,” Javi said. 

“What are you doing here?” You stopped a few feet away from him with your arms crossed over your chest. 

“Came to see you,” Javi said. “Went by your place, but the lights were off, so I figured you’d be here.” 

“You know me so well,” you said sarcastically, a small scowl on your face. 

Javi ran a hand through his hair “You’ve been working the same shifts here for a while. I made an educated guess.” He shrugged. 

“Educated guesses are very important in your line of work, aren’t they?” 

Javi nodded slowly, tongue poking into his cheek. 

“Finally took some time out of your busy schedule, then?” You put your hands on your hips. “You’ve been here for over a week. What made you come see little old me?” You cocked your head to the side and raised your eyebrows. “Or did you get tired of staring at Lorraine, and decide that you needed me to kiss you better?”

Maybe that bit was a _little_ unnecessary. You’d never really been jealous of Lori, not even when she and Javi got engaged. Your relationship with Javi was simple, yet complicated at the same time, and nothing built on a foundation of meaningless sex was ever going to last. Lori gave Javi what you couldn’t, and you understood that. Still, you couldn’t help the little sting of satisfaction that your pointed words had given you. 

He shook his head, ignoring your last comment. “I’ve been a little busy.” 

“Telling stories about Escobar to your adoring fans?” You fixed him with a hard stare, but the ice was thawing. 

You wanted to be mad, to give him a piece of your mind, but your body betrayed you. Your stomach tumbled, your heart skipped a beat, and your palms tingled. There was no denying the giddy feeling that seeing Javier gave you, no matter how much you hated the reaction.

“Something like that, yeah.” Javi drummed his fingers on his thighs. 

You studied him in the warm pool of light the streetlamp cast down. Your eyes traced over the worry lines etched into his face, and came to rest on those deep brown eyes that always enchanted you. Oh the secrets you’d confessed while under the spell of those warm eyes. 

They’d seen some shit, you knew that well. And whatever they’d seen had robbed them of some of the softness and turned them sharp, focused. _Hungry_. You could see it in the way his eyes wandered the parking lot, focused on faraway things. Things that made Javi’s eyebrows hang low, heavy on his forehead, as if they carried the weight of several loads-- the heaviest one being his own expectations. 

Javi always had big dreams. 

You sighed and dropped your arms, unable to keep pretending to be standoffish. “You got any stories left for me?” The corner of your mouth ticked upwards. 

“A few.” The infuriating grin was back on his face again. “I’ll tell you over a few drinks?” He pushed away from the truck and walked slowly towards you. 

“Sure.” You looked up at him, bottom lip trapped between your teeth. “But you’re buying. I’m sure your fancy government paycheck will cover it.” 

“Of course.” His grin grew wider, as he came to a stop in front of you, and the mischievous glint was back in his eyes again. “I’ll even give you a ride.” He swiped his thumb over his lower lip. 

“With my _own_ car?” You put a hand on your chest, and rolled your eyes. “Wow, Javi, you’re such a gentleman.” You tossed him your keys. 

Javi opened the passenger door. “I try my best.” He helped you into the seat, and closed the door with a wink. 

* * *

“ _McPickle_?” You giggled, leaning against Javi.

The butterflies were back, heightened by the way his arm was wrapped tightly against your shoulders, and the feeling of his thigh pressed tightly against yours. You couldn’t tell if the source of the light, giddy feeling was his fingers lightly running over your arm, or the fact that you were already on your third drink.

Whatever it was, it didn’t matter in the moment, and you let yourself fall into it, embracing the euphoria that ran like a live current from your head to your toes. 

“McPickle.” Javi repeated, smiling at you, eyes shining from the alcohol. 

You and Javi sat on a lumpy couch on the patio behind the bar, a few drinks scattered on the table in front of you at various levels of fullness. The music from the bar drifted out from the screen door, and mixed with the buzzing cicadas, forming a chaotic symphony in the warm summer air. 

You tipped the glass back and cleared your throat as the alcohol burned the back of your throat. “Of all the perfectly normal names he could have chosen, he went with McPickle?” 

“What are you talking about? It’s a great name.” Javi drank from his own glass.

“Sounds like something from a McDonald’s menu. I’ll take a number three and an extra McPickle.” You snorted. “It’s a perfect name, if you wanna get caught immediately.” 

Javi grinned. “I never said he was smart.” 

“What happened to him?” You asked, unaware that you had ventured into rocky territory. 

You were just sober enough to notice the sudden shift in atmosphere. The smile on Javi’s face dropped suddenly, and he pulled away from you, lips drawn into a terse line. 

“He died in a parking lot in Baton Rouge, I wanted to put him in protective custody, but Escobar’s men got to him.” Javi said quietly, staring into the night ahead of him. “He was dead the moment Murphy leaked his name, he just didn’t know it yet.” 

You set your drink on the table. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to--” 

“‘S alright.” Javi shrugged. “It’s part of the job, I guess.” He ran his thumb over the lip of the glass absentmindedly. “I saw a lot of bad things over there, had to learn to put it behind me so it wouldn’t get in the way.”

“In the way of what?” You pulled his hand into your lap, and traced the weathered lines of his hand. 

He looked up at you, eyes even darker in the dim lighting. “Life.” 

But _it_ had gotten in the way of his life, hadn’t it? Or else he wouldn’t be here, back in Laredo after all these years. Javi had sworn up and down that he wouldn’t come back, yet here he was, sitting beside you outside this old, dingy bar. Back in the little town he’d cursed day in and day out, searching for _something_ , a dose of nostalgia, comfort, or maybe a reason to go back. 

“What did you do?” You asked, softly, eyes searching his face.

Javi turned away from your intimate gaze. “You wouldn’t understand.” 

“I might.” 

“No, you wouldn’t, okay?” He snapped, pulling his hand away as he stood. “And I know that if I told you, you’d look at me differently.” 

You stared down at the patterned table. Whatever he’d seen, whatever he’d _done_ , had taken its toll on Javier. Shaken his confidence to the core. 

“Look, I did some things I’m not proud of. Some things I don’t even want to talk about” Javi sighed, shoving his hands into his pocket. “But we did it, we got Escobar.” 

There were so many questions you could have asked, so many details you could have squeezed from him. But the haunted look in his eyes fizzled your curiosity. The stories could wait until another time. 

You got up, and walked over to the railing he was leaning against. “Was it worth it?” You asked softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

His face was silhouetted, shrouded in darkness on one half. As he spoke, you caught the edge in his tone, your only glimpse at the man who chased down Pablo Escobar. He wasn’t the man who left all those years ago. No one escaped the War on Drugs unscathed, and Javi’s fight in Colombia had weathered him down until what stood before you was just a shadow of the man you once knew. 

“To get Escobar off the streets, and stop the violence, the murders? Yeah. It was fucking worth it.” Javi clenched his jaw. 

You leaned closer to him, trying to get him to look at you again. “Then that’s all I need to know.” 

Javi’s eyes softened as they met yours, and you caught the small glimmer of relief. His hand cupped your jaw, and he leaned towards you slowly, hesitantly, seeking permission. 

You stood on your tiptoes to close the distance, and melted against him as he kissed you slowly, sending shivers down your spine. You carded your fingers into his hair, twisting the ends slightly as his tongue teased your bottom lip. 

You tugged on the collar of his shirt, pulling his body closer to you until your back was pressed up against the railing. The wood dug into your spine uncomfortably, but you were too wrapped up in the feeling of his tongue against your own to care. 

As if sensing the discomfort, Javi gripped your hips tightly and lifted you onto the bar. You wrapped your leg around his waist and pulled his hips flush against yours. He wrapped his hand into your hair and tilted your head back as his lips devoured your own. 

His taste was intoxicating, a mix of whisky, cigarette smoke, and all things Javi. You swept your tongue along his bottom lip, and he groaned pulling away from you suddenly, chest heaving against your own. You craned your neck to chase his lips, and whined when he pulled away again, just out of reach. 

Javi chuckled, and pressed another lingering kiss to your lips. “We should get out of here.” He squeezed your hips. 

“Not yet,” you mumbled, kissing him again. 

His lips travelled across your jaw. “I don’t think Esme wants to catch us again, not after last time.” 

“ _Last time_ was like ten years ago, besides,” you whined, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I just wanna kiss you.”

Javi’s hand slipped into the back pocket of your jeans, and he gave your ass a squeeze. “But I want to do _more_ than just kiss you,” he whispered in your ear. 

You tilted your head to the side as he kissed down your throat. “My place?” You spoke breathlessly.

“Unless you want to do it in the guest bedroom beside my father’s.” He mumbled, tongue darting out to lick your skin.

“With the paper thin walls? Like old times?” 

“I don’t want you to be quiet.” Javi pressed his hips against yours. 

_Oh hell_. 

His words coaxed a quiet moan from the back of your throat, and grew the stickiness between your thighs. 

“Let’s go back to mine,” you said in a heady whisper.

* * *

You stumbled up the steps to the front door, with Javi right on your tail, body pressed to yours as you fumbled with your keys. Javi’s fingers delved into the front of your jeans, and his lips traveled across your shoulder, making it even harder to concentrate on getting the door unlocked. You finally succeeded, after a few moments more of struggling, and pulled him into your small house. 

You’d just managed to shed your jacket, when Javi pressed you up against the door, lips slanting over yours and hands roaming your body. One hand tilted your jaw up as he deepened the kiss, the other played with the hem of your shirt. You moaned against his lips as his fingertips ran up your stomach slowly. 

He slipped his hand under your bra, and squeezed your breast. Your head fell back, and your eyes fluttered shut as his thumb flicked your nipple. Javi pressed open-mouth kisses down your throat, teeth nipping your skin every so often. You moaned breathily as his lips latched onto your pulse point, drawing blood to the surface. 

You tugged his shirt over his head, and undid his belt hastily. Javi groaned as you palmed his length, and bucked his hips against your hand wantonly. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” he said through gritted teeth. “And here I thought we were gonna take our time.” 

“Dunno what gave you that idea.” You pushed him back towards your ratty excuse for a couch. 

Javi fell back against it with an _oof_. You walked towards him slowly, popping the buttons of your light blue uniform shirt. He watched you with a faint grin and dark eyes that clung to every newly revealed piece of skin. His tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip at your now-parted shirt that revealed the swell of your breasts hidden behind your lacy black bra.

Thank God it was one of those days where you accidentally wore a cute bra. 

You tossed your shirt to the side and sunk down onto his lap with a devilish grin. You knew the effect you had on him, the evidence was in the hard-on pressing against your inner thigh. You grinded down against his cock and Javi groaned, lips parted slightly at the friction. His hands grasped your ass tightly, helping you move against him. He kissed along the cup of your bra, tongue dipping past the lacy barrier impatiently to taste the soft skin of your breast. 

“Javi.” You moaned, tangling your fingers into his hair as his lips latched onto your nipple, wetting the thin fabric. 

His lips continued to move against the hardening bud, teasing it with his teeth and his tongue until your panties were flooded and you were shamelessly bucking your hips against his erection. Javi shoved his hand into your jeans and rubbed his knuckles against your clit roughly. 

“Can’t believe you’re already fucking soaking.” Javi groaned against your breast. “I barely touched you.” 

“Can’t believe you’re already so fucking hard,” you retorted between pants. “I barely touched _you_.” 

Javi raised his eyebrows at you. “Forgot you had a mouth on you, _querida_.” Your clit throbbed at his nickname for you, the one he only used when he was balls deep inside of you, and fucking you so good you saw stars. “Maybe you should put it to good use, instead of mouthin off.” He smacked your ass roughly, and you yelped. 

“Want me suck your cock?” You asked, teasingly robbing his crotch.

Javi put his hand over your own and guided your movements. “Get on your knees,” he said softly, but there was a commanding edge in his tone. 

“Yes, _sir_.” You mock saluted him and made a big show of kneeling in front of him.

Javi rolled his eyes, but the annoyance faded, and his mouth went dry at the sight of you between his legs, lips swollen and tits spilling out of your bra; completely debauched and totally at his mercy. He moved your hand back to length, seeking the pressure of your hands once again. You obliged him, rubbing his erection slowly as you tugged at his jeans and underwear. He kicked them off, eyes fixed on you as you licked your palm and wrapped your hand around his throbbing cock. 

You locked eyes with him, and you pressed sloppy kisses up the ridged plane, before lapping at the precum that glistened on the tip. Javi bucked into your mouth impatiently. You grinned up at him and parted your lips around him, pumping what you couldn’t fit into your mouth. 

You loved the way he tasted. 

“C’mon, _querida_ , you can take it.” His fingers wove into the hair on the back of your neck, and guided your mouth down onto his cock until it hit the back of your throat. “Attagirl.” 

You looked up at Javi through wide, teary eyes, and he swore he felt his soul leave his body. You moaned around his cock, and his hips jerked into your mouth at the sensation. His dick, hot and heavy on your tongue, stretched your lips and made your throat burn in the best way. Your clit ached; you were embarrassingly wet, and only getting more and more turned on with every groan and breathy moan Javi grunted out. You clenched your thighs together for relief, but it was only momentary, you needed Javi inside of you. 

“Yeah, baby, just like that.” Javi groaned, throwing his head back as you bobbed your head. “Taking me so well.” He tugged on your hair gently. “Gonna fucking come in that pretty little mouth of yours. You want it?” 

You swallowed him down to the hilt determined to swallow every bit of him down, and that was all the answer Javi needed. 

Javi bucked his hips into your mouth, and came with a strangled groan. You swallowed him down, gagging a bit as his thick cum coated the back of your throat, but drinking it down all the same, because _mama ain’t raised no bitch_. You pulled away, only when his cock fell limp and he shuddered with every pass of your tongue over the tip. You looked up at him, a wicked smile on your face as you stuck out your tongue to show you’d swallowed it all. 

“ _Shit_.” His chest heaved, glistening with sweat, and fire burned deep in his dark eyes. He rubbed his thumb over your bottom lip. “Get the fuck back up here.” 

You climbed back on top of him, lips instantly fitting over his own. He indulged you in a kiss for a moment, but you could tell he wanted his lips on other parts of you. Not that you were complaining. So when Javi grabbed your hips and flipped you over onto your back, you went willingly. You propped yourself up on your elbows and looked down at him as he knelt between your legs. 

Javi unbuttoned your pants and pulled them roughly down your legs, struggling a bit as they got caught around your ankles. “Stupid fucking jeans.” 

You laughed, sitting up to help him, but he pushed your hands away. “ _Smooth_ , Javi.” You settled for taking off your bra instead, running your fingers over your nipples idly. 

He yanked a little harder, and the pants came free. “We’ll see who’s laughing in a couple minutes, _querida_.” Javi grumbled, rubbing his thumb against the wet patch on your panties. 

You fell back against the couch, moaning at the electricity that pulsed through your body from his motions. 

“All this from sucking my cock, huh baby?” He teased, brushing his lips against the inside of your knee. 

Your only answer was a loud groan as Javi bit the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. 

His nose ran the length of your thigh, and he buried it between your legs. “Such a needy girl” He pinched your clit and you arched your back. 

“Jav,” you cried breathlessly, fingers curling into fists at your side. 

“Hm?” He held your thighs apart and pressed his tongue between your clothed folds. 

“Stop fucking teasing me.” You squirmed under his hold.

Javi pulled away and you huffed. “Only if you ask nicely.” He blew over the damp fabric of your panties. “Tell me what you want.” 

_“Please_.” You sighed, lifting your hips up towards his face. “I need--” You were cut off by a moan as his fingers teased your clit again. 

He held your hips down, and flashed that signature grin of his. “Need _what_?” 

“Your fingers,” you whined, pressing your head back against the couch cushion. 

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Javi mumbled, pulling your underwear down your legs. 

Javi wasted no time in devouring you now that the sweet torture was finally over. He pressed open mouthed kisses to your core, tongue parting your folds, eager to taste you. You gasped, wrapping your fingers in his hair and holding his face against you, as his tongue moved over you. Javi flicked his tongue over your clit repeatedly, before sucking it into his mouth; his lips and teeth played with the sensitive bud, making you whine and buck against his chin. 

Javi slid two fingers inside of you, aided by his spit and the slick of your arousal. You bit your bottom lip, and tilted your head back as his fingers curled inside of you, stoking the fire growing in the pit of your stomach. 

His tongue joined the frenzy, lashing against your clit with a roughness that sent your head spinning, and drew breathless moans from your parted lips. He looked downright sinful between your thighs, eyes closed in concentration, hair a mess from your fingers, and his chin shining with your juices. The sight made you clench around his fingers, and he groaned against your clit. 

“Fuck _querida_ , let me hear you.” 

“Just like that, Javi.” You tightened your hold on his hair. “Don’t stop, _please_ , don’t stop.” 

Your body tensed as warmth spread throughout your body, from your toes to your fingertips. Your heartbeat raced in your ears, and you repeated Javi’s name in shallow gasps. You grinded down on his fingers, pushing them deeper into your cunt, desperate to reach the orgasm he’d been teasing out of you all night. 

The sensations built to a crescendo, driven by the tandem movements of his lips against your clit and his fingers inside of you. But just when you reached that glorious edge, Javi’s fingers stilled inside of you and he pulled away from your cunt, pressing kisses up your body. You whined, hitting your fists against the couch in frustration.

“ _Javi_!” You nearly shouted. 

Javi chuckled, and kissed your pouting lips. His fingers gripped your chin tightly as his tongue explored your mouth. You groaned as you caught a lingering taste of yourself on his tongue. Hunger for your denied orgasm grew with every flick of his tongue against yours. 

“You are such a fucking asshole,” you panted, when he finally let you up for air. “I was so close.” 

“Maybe.” He smirked with raised eyebrows. “But I’m an asshole that can make you come.” He kissed you again, lips muffling your choked moan as his fingers suddenly moved inside of you again.

“Shit, J-avi.” You cried out, back bowing at the overwhelming sensation of his fingers plowing into you. You lifted your hips and ground them down onto the heel of his hand. “ _Fuck_.” 

“That’s it, _querida_ ,” he whispered, barely audible over your hoarse cries and the obscene noises his hand was making between your thighs. “Come on my fingers.” 

The dam burst, flooding your body with wave after wave of pleasure that spread through your veins like wildfire, singing your fingertips and toes. Javi’s name was a repetitive prayer on your lips as you tumbled over the edge. You clung to him, holding close as he coaxed you through your orgasm with sure, deft movements. 

You fell back onto the couch, body going limp as the roar in your ear receded, and your cries died down to a whimper. Javi dragged his fingers over your cunt once more, gathering up your slick and slipped them into his mouth. His brown eyes danced as his tongue swirled over his digits, cleaning off every drop. 

He moaned. “Mm, _querida_ , you taste so good.” 

You covered your face with your forearm, too spent to do anything but lie there. But you were quite a sight, chest heaving, hair splayed messily around your head, and body shaking from the aftershocks of your orgasm. Javi’s eyes traveled your body, tracing the little marks his mouth and teeth had made on your body, until they landed on your glistening folds still dripping. He groaned, his dick hard and throbbing as he stared. 

Javi squeezed your breast, and ran his thumb over your nipple idly. You arched against his palm, bottom lip trapped between your teeth as your own fingers ran down his chest.

“You gonna fuck me or what?” You asked, spreading your legs teasingly to give him a better view. 

“Thinkin’ about it.” He mumbled, running his hand up your thigh. 

You wrapped a leg around his waist, and lifted your hips to rub your cunt against his cock. 

Javi clenched his jaw, and thrusted against your clit. His other hand gripped your hip tightly. “Turn over.” 

You obeyed, lifting yourself up on all fours, and wiggling your ass teasingly. “Got a condom?” 

“DEA agent.” Javi fished around for his discarded jeans and flashed his wallet. “Always prepared.” 

“You’re not supposed to keep those there.” You tsked as he pulled the condom out of one of the folds and tossed his wallet to the side. “It’s risky.” 

“I’ve only been carrying it around for a few hours.” 

“Planning on getting lucky tonight, _Javi_?” You raised your eyebrows. 

Javi ripped the package open and rolled the condom onto his length. “Hoping I might.” 

“Another educated guess?”

He lined himself up with your entrance, and spread your legs a bit more. “Proven theory.” His lips traveled across your shoulder, ghosting over the skin, “We always seem to end up like this.” 

The snarky comment you were about to make was quickly forgotten as Javi thrusted into you, filling you up slowly so that you could feel every part of him. You both moaned in tandem; you from the wonderful feeling of your walls stretching around him, Javi from the heaven of finally being sheathed inside of your warmth. 

He dropped his head against your shoulder, holding your hips in a death grip as you clenched around him. “Jesus, give me a second.” He screwed his eyes shut. He was embarrassingly close to coming already, so he stayed still, flush against you, until the tingling feeling in his toes abated. 

Javi’s first thrust was experimental, but it made you cry out even so. His rhythm was slow, deep thrusts that punched the air from your lungs and made your toes curl. You dropped your head against the arm of the couch, and reached a hand back to grab at his thigh, urging him to keep going. 

“Like that, _querida_?” He asked, biting at the back of your neck. 

The pain made you clench around him, and he snapped his hips into yours harder. 

“ _Oh God_ , Javi, please.” You almost sobbed, delirious with the desire burning inside of you. “Fuck me.” 

He grunted in your ear at the sound of your desperation, and shoved your shoulders down as he picked up the pace. His body curled over yours, one hand pressed between your shoulder blades, the other pulling your hips back against his roughly. The new angle had you seeing stars, and punched the breath from your lungs. 

It was like sex with Javi managed to reach deep inside you and unlock the most primal of reactions. Every thrust of his hips chipped away at your composure, until you lost yourself in the pleasure, shamelessly screaming loudly, because it just felt _that_ good. You couldn’t help but lie there, face pressed against the couch cushion and shouting his name, while he drilled into you mercilessly seeking his high. 

“Feel so good, baby.” Javi groaned somewhere above you.

His thrusts became erratic, hips slamming into yours with an inconsistent rhythm. He was close, barely hanging on by a string. He snuck a hand between your legs and rubbed at your clit, determined to make you break apart beneath him. 

Your legs closed around his hand, trapping him in your warmth. His name fell from your lips in desperate screams as the ball in your stomach unravelled, and your orgasm rushed through you like a tidal wave. White light burst behind your eyelids, and the roar of blood rushing through your ears was almost deafening. Your back arched, and your lips parted around choked gasps, fingers balling into a fist beside your head. 

“Javi, Javi, _J-J_ avi.” 

“ _Fuck_ ,” he moaned, and thrusted into you with reckless abandon, all efforts diverted to reaching his peak. 

“Come for me, Javi,” you whispered, body too heavy to do more than encourage him with just your words. “Want it so bad.” 

Javi wrapped his fingers in your hair and pulled you up against him. You fell back against his chest limply, letting him use your body however he needed to, to get off. Jagged grunts and moans of your name filled your ear, growing more frequent with every sloppy thrust. The sound of them, desperate and rugged, and the slap of skin on skin filled the room in a sinful melody. 

He came with a final, deep thrust, burying himself inside of you as he spilled into the condom with a broken moan. His lips shaped letters against the back of your neck, words whispered too low to hear. His heavy breaths fanned across your ear as he continued to grind into you slowly, riding out the rest of his orgasm. 

“You’re gonna be the fucking death of me, _querida_ ,” Javi muttered, hoarsely, and kissed your neck, before letting you drop back onto the couch. He pulled out and you sighed, legs giving out from the empty feeling. 

“Not a bad way to go,” You rolled onto your back. “Javier Peña died doing what he loved the most, _fucking_ ,” you teased in a grandiose voice. 

Javi swatted your thigh and rolled his eyes. “Ha-ha.” He stood, and shuffling to the bathroom just off the living room to dispose of the condom. 

He moved around your place comfortably, casually, as if he belonged. There were no hesitant movements, no subtle requests for permission or direction. None of the awkward bullshit that came after your usual one-night-stands. He fit perfectly amongst the other little pieces of your life, and seeing him like that sent a pang through your heart. He almost looked like your Javi again, but he’d never really been _yours_. 

You sat up, stretching your legs and wincing at the dull ache between your thighs. Your eyes roamed the room, searching for your discarded shirt. You found it lying crumpled on the floor beside the couch, and you pulled it on, fumbling with the buttons as you walked into your bedroom. You rummaged in the little nightstand, looking for the rusted green tin that housed the neatly rolled blunts you saved for moments like these. You lit one up and took a drag, falling back onto the bed as your muscles relaxed. 

“I should arrest you for that.” Javi stood in the doorway, holding a glass of water in his hand. 

Your eyes traced down his body all the way to his jeans, unbuttoned and hanging low on his hips. “You won’t.” You took another drag and blew it towards him teasingly.

Javi perched on your side of the bed. “You sure?” He asked, running his hand up your thigh. 

“If you did, you might have to arrest yourself. Too much paperwork.” You grinned. 

He chuckled and squeezed your thigh. “Who’s your dealer?” 

You looked at him through narrowed eyes. “Why, you gonna arrest him?” 

“He’s a little below my pay grade, _querida_.” 

“Sonny,” you answered sheepishly. “But don’t tell him I snitched.” 

“ _Still_?” Javi chuckled, running a hand through his hair. 

“Some things never change.” You shrugged, holding out the blunt to him. 

Javi shook his head and gently pushed your hand away. “I don’t do that anymore.” 

_I guess some things did._

You nodded slowly. “ _Right_. You’re an officer of the law now.” 

Javi huffed and shook his head. His eyes wandered around your tiny room. “Can’t believe you still live in this dump.” 

Sure, it wasn’t the Palace of Versailles, but it wasn’t some rundown shack in the woods either. It was small, but it was cozy, _homey_ . Yeah the bathroom door got stuck sometimes, and _maybe_ the water ran more cold than hot, but it had its own little quirks, and you loved it.

You scoffed. “Says the one currently living with their dad.” You rolled your eyes. “Where’d you say you were gonna be tonight?” 

“Some bar.” Javi leaned forward and brushed his lips over your knee. 

“You think he believed you?” You mumbled, eyelids growing heavy with every one of his comforting touches. 

He squeezed your thigh. “No. That man can smell a lie.”

“Maybe you’re just a really bad liar.” 

“Maybe I am.” Javi nodded pensively. 

A comfortable silence fell over the room. Javi rubbed your hip, lips continuing to press soft kisses to your skin. You watched the wisps of smoke hypnotically drift towards the sky. It lulled you into a stupor, brought memories to the surface from long ago. 

Blame the weed, or the fact that Javi was warming your bed once again, but you were actually getting sentimental. 

“Remember when we’d always cut Mr. Andrews’ class, senior year? We’d go down to the river and smoke instead.” You stretched your legs into his lap. 

Javi traced circles over your lower stomach. “Yeah. I’d spend so much time trying to get the smell out of my clothes, but pops always knew. He never said anything...but he knew.” 

“That was so long ago.” You put an arm behind your head. “I guess you and I are on different drugs now.” 

He raised his eyebrows. “What’s that mean?” 

“You’re a workaholic, Javi. Addicted to the job, the chase, the high. It’s thrilling, right? Intoxicating. But it’s just a distraction, a little something to take the edge off of life. Just like this.” You waved the blunt in the air. 

“Did you get a psychology degree while I was away?” He cracked a grin, but you could see the walls building up behind his eyes. 

You shook your head. “Don’t need a degree to see what’s right in front of me. We both know you don’t plan on staying here for long. You never could wait to get the fuck out of here.” 

Javi sighed, pausing for a moment. “I couldn’t stay here, in this frozen town, stuck doing the same thing over and over again like-- like--” 

“Like me?” You finished, sitting up against the headboard. 

He stared down at his hands, jaw clenched and body tense. 

“It’s okay, Javi. You can say it. I had a chance to get out of here, but I didn’t take it. I know that.” 

He rubbed his face. “Don’t act like it was just me.” He spoke in measured tones. “You and I used to talk about leaving this shithole all the time. You’d light a blunt and get all philosophical. Talk about how you felt trapped, like you were gonna suffocate.”

You pulled your feet out of his lap, and glared at him. He was baiting you, Javi knew exactly what it was that made you stay. You bit the inside of your cheek, using the pain to clear some of your emotions. You weren’t about to pour your heart out here. Not when you knew it wouldn’t matter in the end anyways. 

Loose lips sink ships.

“There was nothing here for me. There was nothing for _you_. So don’t blame me for leaving when I had the first chance.” 

You dropped the nearly-finished blunt into the ashtray on your nightstand. “Don’t start this, not tonight, Javi, please.” 

“What happened to that girl? Huh? The one who always talked about flying far away. Why would she stay?” Javi pushed, turning his body to face you. 

“She fell in love with a jerk who got engaged to her best friend.” You blurted out. “That’s what happened. And then that same idiot stood his fiancee up at the altar and ran away to Colombia, leaving her all alone. And then he showed up years later, and expected everything to be the same.”

Javi stared at you, lips pressed into a thin line. 

“I only wanted to leave because of _you_ ,” you said quietly, staring at the flowered print of your bedspread. “But how do you say that to a guy who only saw you as a quick fuck? I was always practice for Lori. She was the one you wanted.” 

“That’s not--” 

“That’s what it felt like.” You wiped at the corner of your eye, not sure if the tear was from anger or the well of pain in your chest. The pain you’d locked away for years, kept tucked deep inside of you. “I smiled, you know, pretended I was happy for you guys, because it meant I could still see you. I almost tricked myself, apparently I tricked you. And then you just up and left, without a fucking phone call,” you whispered. “And you took every single one of my dreams with you. You’re not the only one who changed, Javi.”

He looked at you, eyebrows drawn low over his forehead, blinking slowly as he processed your sudden outburst. The silence was suffocating, it crawled up your spine and settled deep into your chest. But you couldn’t break it, couldn’t come up with a way to collect the broken pieces of yourself into some form of dignity. So, you just sat there, watching as the last of your blunt smoldered away, much like the ashes of your past. 

“I’m sorry.” Javi spoke after a few minutes. “I had no idea.” 

You shrugged. “It doesn’t matter, though, does it? You’re still going back.” 

Javi took a deep breath and exhaled. “Yeah, I am.” His shoulders sagged. “I have to.” 

“When?”

“The day after tomorrow.”

“Do you know when you’ll get back?” 

He shook his head. He could hear the subtext of the question, the little doubt in your voice that replaced _if_ with _when_. 

You nodded slowly. “You were always in a hurry.” You tried for a soft smile, but it came out more like a grimace. 

“I’m not.” Javi covered your hand with his own. “Not right now.” His gaze met yours, and an unspoken invitation lingered in those deep brown eyes of his. 

You nodded, twisting your fingers in his and pulling him towards you. His lips pressed against yours slowly, insistently, his tongue parted your lips, invading your senses with his taste. You returned his lazy kisses and soft touches. You fell back against the bed, pulling him on top of you. Let him wriggle between your thighs and fuck you slowly until you were crying out his name all over again. Because it was familiar. 

And in the morning, when you woke up to a cold and empty bed, you didn’t think about it long. Didn’t beat yourself up like you did all those years ago. Even though the closure was bitter sweet, it was there all the same. 

You got dressed in your same uniform, and got ready to head to the same old job. The same cycles, the same patterns, because there was safety in the repetition, the cycles. 

You almost didn’t notice the scrap of paper sticking out of your windshield. It fluttered in the light morning breeze. 

The note was rushed, but the slant of the letters was unmistakably Javi’s. Just three words.

 _Don’t wait up._

You smiled softly and slipped it in your apron pocket. 

Who knew when Javi decided to make his way back to Laredo. Could be months, could be years. He might not come back at all. 

But you knew one thing. You wouldn’t be here if he did. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please, please, please leave me some feedback, as I am a thirsty author in need of sustenance  
> Check out my tumblr: generaldamneron


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